Below is a list taken off of Twitter called "Things Jesus Never Said"
"I'll wait 1611 years to prompt my buddy King James to authorize the only valid translation of the Bible"
"Make me your personal Lord and Savior."
"You need to develop relationships with people in order to earn the right to share the gospel with them."
"I used evolution."
"I'll meet you half way."
"You will roll around on the ground and bark like a dog when the Holy Ghost comes upon you."
"I am A way to the Father. Any other way is equally valid if you are SINCERE."
"Just speak the word of faith so I can be released to move among you!"
"Doctrines? Let's not fight about petty things like soteriology. Let's just all get along."
"Repeat this prayer after me, and really, really mean it."
"Try Me for sixty days and see if I don't change your life."
"The time is fulfilled, the kingdom of God is at hand, now who would like to ask me into their heart?"
"You're a good person"
"Don't study the word to show yourself approved-just listen to God's annointed"
"Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words."
"This ministry stays on the air through the faithful financial support of listeners like you..."
"I wanna be your homeboy."
"It's My will that everyone will be healed"
"Kick the lady in the face with your biker boot-BAM!"
"This is scripture. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do."
"Everything seems to be in order, wait, where's your signed salvation card?"
"God helps those who help themselves"
"I only respond when you name it and claim it"
"Hatred is murder but abortion is a woman's choice."
"I need to be more relevant"
"Ye shall receive power when the Holy Ghost is come upon you & ye shall blow on people & knock em' down"
"I've done everything I can to save you, now it is up to you."
"Father forgive them, for the Devil made them do it"
"Faith is a Force"
"If your good outweighs your bad, you can go to heaven"
"You can heal people at will."
If you can think of any other sayings that "Jesus never said" then please e-mail them to heraldingtruth_yahoo.com
